Home Coming Message for Sister Lay See

Oct 26th 2009

The Lims, have experienced deep pain and sorrow the last few years. We have had three funerals in less than two years with the last two merely six months apart. My beloved brother, mentor, and friend, Nian, passed away on April 10th and his beloved wife followed barely six months later.

Lay See fought bravely, valiantly, courageously to live for the sake of her daughters whom she literally loved more than life itself. She underwent chemotherapy, willingly gone through painful procedures so that she may be around to love, guide, protect her precious daughters now that Nian is no longer around.

Ultimately she could not sustain the fight. Her spirit was willing but her body was too battered, bruised and weary. She went home to glory, to be with the Lord with the blessings of her beloved daughters.

As uncles and aunties our hearts are broken for our beloved nieces. Debbie, Rachel, Eunice. We do not know what to say that can be of comfort to you, but we do know what we want to do. We want to love you and we want to assure you that you will always be special to us. You will always be welcome in our homes and we will want always to look out for you. We will follow your careers, your lives, your ups and downs with great interest. We will log in to your face books on a regular basis (that is if you first approve us as friends!)

The Seremban Gospel Chapel has also gone through what the church fathers called the ‘dark night of the soul’. Two distinguished, godly and caring elders have gone home to be with the Lord within six months. And this after much fervent, believing, persevering prayers have been made for them.

It does seem that the heavens are silent and God has chosen to be absent and that we mere mortals are left to fend for ourselves the best way we can.

Many over the years can identify with these feelings of abandonment. I suppose one of the most documented painful periods of recent history must be that of the Jewish holocaust where six million men, women and children were put to death by the Nazis in WW II, simply because they were members of the wrong race.

One of the most articulate spokesman of this dark era, has been Ellie Wiesel author of the book, aptly named Night. His whole family was captured by the Nazis and sent to their death camps. He and his father were eventually separated from his mother and sisters in the death camps. This is his horrifying account.

Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.
Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.
Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never.

“ I glanced at my father. How he had changed! ... The night was gone. So much had happened within such a few hours that I had lost all sense of time. When had we left our houses? And the ghetto? And the train? Was it only a week? One night—one single night?
„

God is not lost to Wiesel entirely. During the hanging of a child, which the camp is forced to watch, he hears someone ask: Where is God? Where is he? Not heavy enough for the weight of his body to break his neck, the boy dies slowly and in agony. Wiesel files past him, sees his tongue still pink and his eyes clear, and weeps.

“Behind me, I heard the same man asking: Where is God now?
And I heard a voice within me answer him: ... Here He is—He is hanging here on this gallows.
„Shortly after the hanging, the other inmates celebrate Rosh Hashanah, by blessing the Lord. the Jewish New year, but Weisel cannot take part.

“ Blessed be God's name? Why, but why would I bless Him? Every fiber in me rebelled. Because He caused thousands of children to burn in His mass graves? Because He kept six crematoria working day and night, including Sabbath and the Holy Days? Because in His great might, He had created Auschwitz, Birkenau, Buna, and so many other factories of death? How could I say to Him: Blessed be Thou, Almighty, Master of the Universe, who chose us among all nations to be tortured day and night, to watch as our fathers, our mothers, our brothers end up in the furnaces? ... But now, I no longer pleaded for anything. I was no longer able to lament. On the contrary, I felt very strong. I was the accuser, God the accused. My eyes had opened and I was alone, terribly alone in a world without God, without man.
„

Did Jesus create the death camps and rejoice in the deaths of his people?

John 11.11 After he had said this, he went on to tell them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up."

12His disciples replied, "Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better." 13Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.
14So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, 15and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him."
16Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

Jesus Comforts the Sisters
17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18Bethany was less than two miles[a] from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

27"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ,[b] the Son of God, who was to come into the world."
28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34"Where have you laid him?" he asked.
"Come and see, Lord," they replied.
35Jesus wept.

36Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"

The NIV translation, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled (v. 33), is common among English translations, but it does not do justice to the language. The word for deeply moved (embrimaomai) can be used of snorting in animals (for example, Aeschylus Seven Against Thebes 461) and in humans refers to anger (Beasley-Murray 1987:192-93). The second word, troubled (tarasso), is literally "troubled himself" (etaraxen heauton). So a better translation would be, "became angry in spirit and very agitated" (Beasley-Murray 1987:192-93).

Jesus is angry at death itself and the pain and sadness it causes evident in the wailing (Westcott 1908:2:96; Brown 1966:435; Michaels 1989:203). Thus, his anger at death itself and the reign of terror it exercises. Anger at death that takes the best and godliest from us. Angry that death takes from us that which is most vulnerable and helpless. Angry that death should find it necessary so often to inflict so much pain, suffering and indignity on those we love before finally silencing them forever.

Jesus knew what it was like to be abandoned, forsaken, forgotten and stripped of all dignity :

Mt 27.45 From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. 46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi,[c] lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"[d]

Jn19 28 (Later), knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." 29A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. 30When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

“It is finished” refers not, it is the end, I can no longer fight death. No, “It is finished” refers to the fact that death is vanquished, that with the death of Christ, death died.

My dear friends there are many questions we cannot answer this evening. There are many things we do not understand and may never understand. But if we are to be angry, this evening, let us be angry with death, with sin and corruption and evil that leads to death but not at Jesus. For he too hated death. And for that reason he died, friendless, rejected, alone, abandoned in extreme physical, mental and emotional pain.

He died, that death may not reign and have the final say. Instead, death may be slain and we can triumphantly say:
54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
56The sting of death is sin, and the power
of sin is the law.

Nian, the husband died on a good Friday- when Jesus died, death died (– John Owen – The death of death in the death of Christ)

Lay See died on Sunday – a special day for Christians. Before that the Jews worship on the Sabbath, which is Saturday. But we Christians changed it to Sunday – because Christ was resurrected on the Sunday.

Good Friday – death died. Sunday - new resurrection life so that death, sorrow, suffering, pain will never have the last and final say.



THERE IS A HOPE
by Stuart Townend and Mark Edwards
Copyright (c) 2007 Thankyou Music.

There is a hope that burns within my heart,
That gives me strength for ev'ry passing day;
a glimpse of glory now revealed in meager part,
Yet drives all doubt away:
I stand in Christ, with sins forgiv'n;
and Christ in me, the hope of heav'n!
My highest calling and my deepest joy,
to make His will my home.

There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Saviour there!
Through present sufferings, future's fear,
He whispers, "Courage!" in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.

There is a hope that stands the test of time,
That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave,
To see the matchless beauty of a day divine
When I behold His face!
When sufferings cease and sorrows die,
and every longing satisfied,
then joy unspeakable
will flood my soul,
For I am truly home.

May my life be always defined by a hope that is rooted firmly in the truth of Your glorious resurrection. May my current sufferings remind me that though I am in this world, I am called by You to embody a vision of life as You would have it. May I always look ahead, knowing that by Your grace alone, You will indeed lead me safely home.

Disconnect between the head and the heart

Recently some of us, lecturers from our local seminaries, gathered together and had a good time of fellowship and discussion. We were talking about the training of our students. In the ensuing discussions that followed, one senior lecturer commented in a mixture of exasperation and frustration, “ how come some of our students do not seem able to integrate their theology and their everyday lives?”

She went on, “ We teach them the doctrine of God and that God is trustworthy and in sovereign control not only of our lives but the universe. Yet issues of trust and dependence upon God remain a major problem. What they were taught and how they live do not seem connected.”

I thought about her comments long after our time of fellowship was over. Why the disconnect between theology and experience? We teach that God is loving, merciful and compassionate. Yet for many, the dominant experience of God is that of fear. Mike Mason articulates this feeling well. In his book, Practising the Presence of People he wrote:

“For years I had believed in Jesus, worshipped Him, followed Him, even loved Him. But I had never felt we were friends. He was someone who kept me on edge, not someone with whom I could completely relax. Whenever I came to Him, I always felt bad for all the ways my life didn’t measure up. Like Peter, I would say in fear, “go away from me Lord; I am a sinful man!” In a sense, instead of inviting Jesus into my life, I kept telling Him to go away. I knew I wasn’t good enough for Him and never would be.”

Mike Mason knows all the right theology. He knows that it is wrong for him to make himself acceptable before Jesus would receive him. The basis of his relationship and indeed ‘friendship’ with Jesus is the atoning sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Yet knowing that he was saved by Jesus, did not make him feel safe with Jesus. Again we see here the disconnect between theology and experience.

This led me realise that our feeling, our experience is a truer barometer of our belief system than our ability to rationally spout out our theology. Our head tells us that God loves us and is for us and not against us. Our feeling or emotion tells us “ I am not so sure about that!”

The reason is that very often our memories of God’s dealing with folks we know and folks that we love tell us that God has abandoned them. Our prayers for deliverance, for healing, for help were ignored. These memories forged out of a myriad of experiences, then create the theology we really believe in our hearts. What we really believe is that “ God is not for us but against us.” But this belief is embedded in us so subliminally that we are not conscious of it at all. Most of us would recoil in horror and despair if this is pointed out to us. But our feeling, our emotion or better still, our heart do not lie to us. What we really believe in our heart of hearts may not be what we believe in our head.

Similarly, our memories of how people treat us, especially key authority figures like fathers, teachers, pastors may distort our understanding of who God is. If our father is a stern, distant and authoritarian figure, then our mental picture we have of God our heavenly father is the same!

Hence lecturers in bible seminaries cannot just teach correct theology. Even though the theology we teach is firmly grounded and faithful to Scripture. Like the Puritan pastors in 17th century England, we must also be ‘physician of the soul’. We must not only teach our students, we must pastor them and know what is in their hearts.

Evil comes dressed in coat and tie

The film “Taken” starring Liam Neeson , a 6’4” hunk of a man, ought to be compulsory viewing for all parents of young daughters. Briefly the film is about how two young American girls on holiday in Europe were duped and subsequently kidnapped by a nice boy that they met at the airport. The boy looked friendly, helpful, clean cut and decent. It seems that sometimes evil does come dressed in coat and tie. Therefore parents be warned!

How do good people turn evil? How do nice boys turn evil? Calvinists will point to their understanding of the total depravity of man and say that all mankind have sinned and there is no such thing as an intrinsically good man. Granted that this is true, we still need to ask, why do born again Christians, generally regarded as good people still commit moral lapses, still sin and do evil? Philip Zimbardo, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Stanford University asked a fundamental question: “ How well do we really know ourselves, how confident can we be in predicting what we would or would not do in situations we have never encountered. Could we, like God’s favourite angel, Lucifer, ever be led into the temptation to do the unthinkable to others?”

As Christians we ask the question: “Can born again Christians be swept up with an evil regime like Nazi Germany and cooperate with them to kill innocent Jews?” Zimbardo, did a pioneering study examining the ways good people can turn evil. In his famous Stanford Prison Experiment he got students( arbitrarily chosen) to play the role of guards or prisoners. The reason for the experiment is to “ better understand the mentality of prisoners and correctional staff, as well as to explore what were the critical features in the psychological nature of any prison experience.” In his experiment, he discovered that ‘situations matter’.

Writing about the Stanford experiment In his book, The Lucifer Effect, he noted that ‘within certain powerful social settings, human nature can be transformed ....(for e.g. ) good people suddenly becoming perpetrators of evil as guards or pathologically passive victims as prisoners in response to situational forces acting upon them’. Zimbardo argues that the situations and the systems within which people operate are as much responsible for the evil perpetuated (say, guards in a prison environment) as the individual guards themselves. Zimbardo emphasizes that ‘systems provide the institutional support, authority, and resources that allow Situations to operate as they do.”

This understanding is not new. Much research had been done in the past and a large body of evidence in social psychology supports the concept that situational power triumphs over individual power in given contexts. Zimbardo points out however that “ most psychologists have been insensitive to the deeper sources of power that inhere in the political, economic, religious, historic, and cultural matrix that defines situations and gives them legitimate or illegitimate existence.

A full understanding of the dynamics of human behaviour requires that we recognise the extent and limits of personal power, situation power, and systemic power.” Not allowing for such an understanding, whenever abuses occur in any given situations, the blame is then placed solely on the individuals perpetrating the evil, be they prison guards, or corrupt officials. The reason put forward for the abuse is the existence of a few individual “bad apples”. The system itself or the situation plays no part. Zimbardo argues strongly that while individuals must accept responsibility and personal culpability, a dysfunctional and corrupt system produces situations or environments in which corrupt and evil acts perpetuated by individuals are bound to occur.

This is what happened in his Stanford University Experiment. Given a lot of leeway and little direct supervision by the system, ( Zimbardo himself) ordinary students in a situation where they get to exercise enormous powers playing their role as guards inevitably abused their power over their fellow students playing their roles as prisoners. In the same way we can see how politically a corrupt national system of governance allows situations to degenerate to such an extent that corruption or abuse of power and authority by individuals within the system will occur as a matter of course. This is documented in Africa with Somalia and Zimbabwe as the best known example of failed states. Zimbardo puts it simply, “ Bad systems, create bad situations create bad apples create bad behaviours, even in good people.

Using Zimbardo’s insights may help us better understand why pastors of mega churches fall morally so often and so spectacularly. The system in which these pastors operate in values success (interpreted in terms of size of congregation, how large the budget is, how big and impressive the building and on how often they appear on national radio, TV and magazines) and rewards success exceeding well. At the same time the system encourages CEO type aggressive independent leadership where entrepreneurship and not accountability or team leadership is emphasised. This creates situations in which the pastors are almost a law to themselves. As long as they deliver, in terms of mesmerising messages and the numbers of members keep on increasing, they are free to do what they are “led by the Holy Spirit” to do.

Inevitably within such settings, the pastors are influenced negatively and moral lapses occur! When these pastors fall ( and mega pastors are not the only ones who fall!) we tend put the blame squarely on the pastors themselves. Granted, the pastors are individually accountable and personally responsible for their moral lapses. But not enough attention has been put on the system and the situations that the system produces. This remains a blind spot and that is why pastors of mega churches continue to fall with depressing regularity. We can take these basic tools of systems, situations and individuals to diagnose why certain churches fall out with their pastors regularly too. Or why certain churches seemed always to be heading for spilt every so often.

However potent as these combined forces of system and situation are, Zimbardo in his research discovered that there are some individuals who did not conform to the system. Who stood against the system and who did not allow the situations they were in to dictate what they do. Often at great cost to themselves they disobeyed and went against organisational authority when they felt that what they were asked to do were unethical and evil. Zimbardo called these people heroes who succeeded in resisting situational influences. We recall the anonymous man who stood up against the might of the Chinese tanks during the Democracy Movement at Tiananmen Square in Beijing , in 1989. The whistle blower that blew the cover of Enron also deserves an honourable mention. I wonder in Malaysia whether Lim Guan Eng, who went to prison defending a young Malay woman can also be regarded as a hero.

If there is such a thing as the “banality of evil”, is there also such a thing as the banality of heroism? There will be if each Christian were to live out his or her calling to be a disciple of Christ. And if each local church is faithful to its witness to Christ. It is helpful and encouraging for us to know that we in the church have the theology and the pastoral wisdom to deal with sin and evil. As Christians we acknowledge our own personal fallenness. We also recognise the existence of a personal malevolent devil who prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom it can devour.

Our fight is also against principalities and powers, not just human sin and weaknesses. Therefore we have a realistic view of sin and evil. On the positive side we thank the Lord for the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in our lives making us a new creation. Under the power and enabling of the Spirit, we can not sin. However and this is where Zimbardo is most helpful, the fight against sin and evil is not strictly limited to personal spiritual warfare. It is also a war against institutionalised systems and situations mired in sin, and against worldviews and value systems.

It is a spiritual warfare that we cannot wage alone, but in the context of accountable relationships, rooted in meaningful relationships in a community deeply committed to the Lordship of Christ. A community of God’s people that is committed to create an alternative system. One that seeks seriously to reflect the holiness, the righteousness, the love and mercy of God. A people who are daily renewed by the Word of God. And weekly by corporate worship which spills over into daily costly obedience in personal, family, work and society. A community that is not afraid to evaluate and critique its own system and to examine the system’s effect on situations and individual behaviour. If these were to take place, heroic persons and heroic living will indeed be banal!

Want to make your mark?

Andy Stanley on How Leaders Make Their Mark

Andy Stanley opened Catalyst 09 with an illustration from the Ridley Scott movie, Kingdom of Heaven. In this movie, set in the medieval Crusades, the blacksmith has a phrase inscribed in his shop in Latin: “What man is a man who does not leave the world better?”

Andy then set up this tension: If you have the leadership gift, you want to make a mark, to leave the world better. But you won’t know your legacy, even your greatest mistake, until years later. The defining moment will happen when you don’t know it’s happening. So the problem/challenge for leaders is you don’t know the thing you’ll do that will make the biggest difference.

What to do? Andy drew insights from the Book of Joshua:

When Joshua enters the Promised Land, he is on the verge of making his mark. The incident that I believe marked Joshua is when he's a couple of days out from attacking the city of Jericho. In Joshua 5:13, Joshua saw a man in front of him with a drawn sword. Joshua asks him, "Are you for us or against us?" The man (angel) answers, "Neither. No." In effect, he's speaking for God: “I have not come to be a part of your story; I’ve come to see if you’re willing to play a part in my story.”

Later, when Joshua was 110 years old, he addresses the nation and says (23:8), “Cling to the Lord your God as you have done this day. … Take diligent heed to yourselves to love the Lord Your God…. Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Why this is so challenging to me: I would like to think that at the end of your life you will be able to look back and see that you have made your mark. To be able to love the Lord your God and to say to the generation behind, “There is no greater thrill and joy in the world than to lean your leadership gift into the will of God for your life.”

I learned from my father, “God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to Him.” Even when he was literally punched in the face during a church conflict, even when he was verbally attacked, he devoted himself to God.

Be consumed not with who’s for me or against me but whom I’m for. That brings freedom:
Thy will be done, thy kingdom come.

Making our mark isn’t worth our life. Living to make my mark is too small a thing to give my life to. But to be positioned to be open to whatever God wants to do through me, IS something worth giving your life to.

Honesty time: Are you energized by making your mark, or devoting yourself to God, allowing Him to do His work in and through you?

(An Out of Ur article by Andy Stanley)

Telling The Christmas Story

Gospels or Christmas fairy tales? What’s the difference?

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago in a faraway land, there lived a king and his beautiful queen. The queen had everything she wanted, yet she remains desperately unhappy. For she could not conceive and she grows older year by year. At this time of the year, it was customary for the queen’s fairy godmother to visit the royal family…..

We know straight away that this is fairy tale. When we read fairy tales we put our normal, hard nosed, objective, scientific world view aside. To enter into a magical land of princes and princesses, fairy godmothers and evil witches, dragons and goblins. Where magical beings cast spells that make the impossible, possible.

Now read Luke’s account[1] of the birth of Jesus. Doesn’t it sound very much like a fairy tale? A young teenage girl is visited by an angel and she is told that she is to give birth to a son even though she is a virgin. Aren’t angels the Jewish equivalent of Han Christian Andersen’s fairies and fairy godmothers? The fact that the teenage girl is a virgin and yet she is to give birth to a baby seemed to set the scenario for fairy godmothers to cast their spells to make the impossible, possible. Aren’t we asked to put aside reasonable objections and enter into a fantasy world where angelic beings exist and virgins give birth to children?

The gospels are rooted in history

If we compare a typical fairy tell with the gospel records, we immediately see a basic and intrinsic qualitative difference. Fairy tales make no attempt to root their stories in history. In a fairy tale, the year is not specified. The reign of the king cannot be verified historically. The magical kingdom cannot be located on any map.

In contrast the gospels are rooted in history. Consider Luke’s careful introduction in Luke 1:

1Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled^[a] among us, 2just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. 3Therefore, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, 4so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.

As Luke later records the story of an elderly priest and his wife, notice the rich personal, historical, political and geographical details that he provides:

In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron.

Similarly, Luke tells us that Mary came from the village of Nazareth, in Galilee. Jesus was born during the reign of the Roman Eemperor Augustus, when Quirinius was the governor of Syria. Ultimately Luke records that Jesus was crucified under Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor.

Throughout his Gospel and in Acts, Luke gives us a plethora of specific names of actual persons, towns, countries, political systems. All of which can be checked objectively for accuracy.

The gospel makes a reasonable case for what it records.

The fairy tales make no attempt to convince us through facts or reasoning that fairies exist and they can do magic. The suspension of logic and reasoning is the whole point of fairy tales and fantasies.

Admittedly the angel Gabriel’s prophesy of a virgin birth is difficult to verify. We only have the testimony of Mary and Joseph. Their righteous and upright characters can be attested by those who know them. But the pregnancy of a woman who has yet to be married, must surely work against their testimony. Who will believe their story of a miraculous virgin birth? Surely it cannot be reasonable. For no virgin woman in history has ever given birth. Should we then just believe? Just as when we read fairy tales?

Note however the way Luke tells his story. He does not begin immediately with the virgin birth of Jesus. Instead, Luke begins with Gabriel’s prophesied birth of John the Baptist to Elizabeth. An elderly woman way past her ability to conceive and bear a child. With this prophecy, the angel Gabriel broke 400 years of silence. God has spoken again. The proof, that indeed God has spoken and it is not the overworked imagination of an aging senile priest? That lies in the fact that the elderly Elizabeth will give birth to a son. He will be called John. He is to live like a Nazirite, drinking no wine. He will be like an Elijah and prepare the people for their long awaited messiah. And as recorded by Luke, it indeed came to pass. The angel’s prophecy to Zechariah and Elizabeth was authenticated by John the Baptist’s miraculous birth and subsequent ministry.

So when Luke went on to record the angel Gabriel’s prophecy about the virgin birth it is not so incredulous, so fairy tale like after all. If God could make a barren elderly woman give birth miraculously, he could enable a virgin to give birth miraculously too. It is therefore reasonable for us to conclude with Luke that “nothing is impossible with God”. It is possible for a Virgin to give birth.

This was precisely the answer that the angel Gabriel gave to Mary’s perplexed question:

Lk 1. 34"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

35The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. 36Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. 37For nothing is impossible with God."

Faith and Reason

One of the gospel writers’ chief purpose is to lay reasonable grounds for us to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, the longed for Messiah and our Saviour. Right from the beginning the gospels challenge us to ask, “ who is this man?”. The gospel records show us that Jesus is no ordinary man. Consider, the following facts. The gospels tell us His birth was prophesied. His birth was miraculous. The gospels record that Jesus had authority over the spiritual world. Demons had to obey his commands. The winds and waves, powerful forces of nature were stilled at his word. The sick were healed and the dead came alive again. All these incidents were verified by witnesses who were still living when the gospels were written. In the light of all these, the gospel writers ask us, isn’t it reasonable for us to believe that Jesus is who he says he is. God himself?

Faith and reason are not in antithesis to one another. We are not to put on our critical thinking hats in the seminaries and bible colleges. Only to put that off, and put on our faith hats in church or when speaking to church members.

Don’t get me wrong. Faith is still required. Luke could only put forward a reasonable case for the virgin birth. We still can insist that Mary and Joseph were lying. The numerous recorded miracles of Jesus did not convince the chief priests and religious officials to believe in him and obey him. In fact when confronted with the incontrovertible evidence of authority over demons, these religious figures attribute the miracles to be the work of Beelzebub rather than God!

However Luke and the other biblical writers do not ask us to have a blind, uncritical faith in God. Because the words and deeds of God are rooted in history, we can check their authenticity. The prophecies (Word) can be verified for accuracy and reliability. Likewise physical miracles (deeds). A man born blind can now see. A man lame from birth can now walk.

Therefore as we engage in rigorous, serious and disciplined study of God’s Word, using all our critical thinking faculties, our faith will be strengthened, not weakened. All glory to God!

---

[1] The gospel of Luke is taken as a representative of the gospels.

Rethinking The Meaning Of The Cross For Christian Discipleship

Festschrift for Dr David (Past Chairman, OMF, Malaysia)

(Essay in Honour of Dr David's 70th Birthday)

Evangelical spirituality or Evangelicalism has always emphasised the importance of the cross. Indeed John Stott[1]argued that “the cross is at the centre of the evangelical faith. Indeed….it lies at the centre of the historic, biblical faith..” Stott pointed out that JI Packer called the atoning death of Christ for sinful rebellious humanity as Evangelicalism’s distinguishing mark. (Stott 1986:7)

The apostle Paul in Philippians chapter two gives us a lovely vignette of the character, person and life of Christ :

⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
⁹Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
¹⁰that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus’ life was the embodiment of self-denial, sacrifice, suffering and cross bearing. As disciples of Jesus we are called to be like Christ. Luke records Jesus saying, “A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.” (Lk 6.40) . Discipleship as understood by Luke in his gospel and Acts, involves “‘both a way to walk and a mission to fulfil” (Charles Talbert quoted in Wilkins 1992: 271). Discipleship means to follow Jesus and become like him in the totality of our life. It involves the whole person, what we do and who we are. When Jesus called men and women to follow him, he warned them to consider what Wilkins calls “the twin prerequisites of discipleship – cost and cross”. There is a cost to pay and a cross of suffering to bear. Luke’s gospel records many such “cost and cross passages”. (Wilkins, 1992:217)

Consider the following verses:

(Cost, Cross) "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. (Lk 9.23).

(Cost )"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. (Lk 14.26)

(Cost) He said to another man, "Follow me." But the man replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." 60Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 61Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good bye to my family." 62Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plough and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." (Lk 9.59)

However, difficulties arise when we try to faithfully apply the teachings of the above passages. Wilkins[2]in his seminal study on discipleship pointed out that

these cost and cross messages in the Gospels are some of the most difficult passages in Scripture to understand rightly. He goes on to say:

“when we try to apply Jesus’ challenge to count the cost, we often struggle with going to extremes. Some people emphasise counting the cost so strongly that they have been accused of advocating ‘works salvation.’ Some people who do not include any challenge to count the cost have been accused of advocating ‘easy believism’. (Wilkins 1992: 220)

Young people (below the age of 30)(Buster generation) have often complained to me as their pastor about the older folk’s (the booster generation also known as silent or builder generation in the States), someone born between 1927 and 1945, Dr David’s vintage) [3]severe and even harsh demands on them. They claim that discipleship as understood by the booster generation is arguably more demanding and more narrow than biblically warranted. Pose them the question, “Should Christians emigrate” and the answer inevitably would be a resounding no!

“Is discipleship always about suffering and taking the least attractive option? Given a choice must a Christian always choose the harder and more sacrificial option? Is there no place for a theoretical chemist, a nuclear physicist, a brilliant pianist and the like, to emigrate so as to find a happy niche to pursue his or her career in a developed country? (see Hwa Yung[4]2007: 20)

Let me try to flesh out some of the problems, young people face with the Gospels’ cost and cross passages as they seek to follow God’s will in their choice and place of career. Consider the following fictitious case study:

Case study

A young man (from the busters generation, born between 1965 and 1983) fresh from his PhD studies in Theology from Cambridge University had two offers to teach. One came from a seminary in Malaysia, a developing country. At the seminary in Malaysia, he has to be a generalist, prepared to teach any subject, and not just his specialty. The other offer comes from a prestigious and well known but liberal seminary in Singapore, regarded by many as a developed nation. At this seminary, he will be expected only to teach in his specialised field. He is also given much time and opportunity to do further research. Anxious to know the will of the Lord, he asked two men whom he respected very much for advice and guidance.

The first man he asked for counsel come from the booster generation (someone born between 1927 and 1945).

“Simple, young man. Go to where the need is more serious”, was the older man’s counsel.

To which the young man replied, “ But the need in both seminaries is serious. The one in Malaysia needs well trained lecturers. The one in Singapore urgently needs an evangelical voice.”

“Young man, the seminary in the developed world will always be able to attract intelligent, gifted men and women. Not so many man or woman would be so willing to go teach in the third world seminary. You take the harder road, the road less travelled. After all the Lord said, ‘ "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me”. (Lk 9.23). In addition ponder upon these verses (and he goes on to quote the passages above)

Still not quite satisfied, our young man sought out another respected mentor, someone from the baby boomers generation ( born between 1946 and 1964).

When the young man explained his dilemma, the second mentor replied,

“ What is most important is that you engaged in a ministry which allows you to best develop your gifts. Remember with your PhD, you are a specialist, you need to be in a place that allows you to pursue excellence and be an agent of change. Obviously the seminary in the Singapore is the place for you.”

“But what about the biblical call to taking up the cross, self denial, and sacrifice?” asked the perplexed young man.

“Remember Daniel and his three friends?” replied second mentor. Opening his bible he read from Daniel chapter 1,

‘3 Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring in some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility- 4 young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king's palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians^. 5 The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king's table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king's service.

6 Among these were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. 7 The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.’

God placed Daniel and his three friends in an elitist and privileged environment. He gave them special ability to do well in their studies. They did so much better than their Babylonian rivals. They demonstrated excellence and in later years were instrumental in ensuring an efficient and corrupt free administration. God could have put them in an obscure and insignificant village. But that will be a waste of the special abilities or gifts that He had given them.” Concluded the second mentor.

Before we examine whether the counsel given to the young man, were biblically correct and acceptable, let us look at the issues at stake here.

On the surface both the booster and boomer generation respectively, will like to claim that their advice was based on scripture. Both will be surprised that their advice to the young man may be based on values, tradition and understanding of discipleship which are characteristic of their generation or socio-cultural era. This may or may not be based on a perspective and interpretation that is biblically correct. We all come to the biblical text wearing our cultural and generational biasness or lenses. This is the reason why for many years, good biblical Christians in South Africa were unable to see how unjust and unbiblical the Apartheid system was. A cultural blind spot prevented them from seeing the clear teaching about the equality of all men and women before God[5]. In a similar way, the booster’s and boomers’ generation may be more influenced by their generational biasness than they realised.

Here is a snapshot[6]of the booster generation who are missionaries of the traditional school.

“The boosters were brought up in a world which had experienced the Great Depression and World War II. In both events, people endured great hardship and won through. Boosters were hardworking, single-minded, persevering, committed, frugal and willing to turn their hands to whatever needed doing for the sake of goal…..

As missionaries, boosters provided the model of missionary service still followed by traditional missionary societies today. They went out in response to a clear, firmly held sense of all to a particular country with a particular society for life, sight unseen. They were prepared to go anywhere and do anything. No sacrifice was too great for the sake of the gospel, and however great the hardship, resignation was unthinkable….” (Donavan and Myors 1997: 42,43)

In contrast, as Donavan and Myors point out :

“the baby boomers were born into material prosperity as a result of the hard work of their fathers….they were aware of the horrors rather than the glory of war – through hearing about the Holocaust and Hiroshima…..baby boomers became the protesting, questioning, pragmatic, yet idealistic generation. They hold themselves responsible for their own lives and choices and respect the right of others to do the same…..the baby boomers bring to mission specialised knowledge, skill, vision, energy and willingness for hard work. They place great importance on using their God given skills and training to the maximum to His glory. Fulfilment in their work is very important to them, as is continuing professional development. If these things are not available or do not seem likely to happen, boomers will become frustrated and discouraged and may leave the mission.” (Donavan and Myors 1997:43,44)

The defining characteristic of the booster generation is their hardiness, their commitment, their readiness to bear the cost and cross of discipleship. Theirs is a disciplined generation that says, “ No bible, no breakfast”. So their advice would inevitably be: go where the need is greatest. Imitate Christ in self denial and self sacrifice.

The boomers’ on the other hand, place a deep importance on using their God given gifts, skills and training to the maximum for God’s glory. “Fulfilment in work is very important to them, as is continuing professional development”. (Donovan and Myors 1997:44). Therefore to the boomers, being in a place where they cannot use their skills to the best makes no sense. It cannot be honouring to God. They identify such a situation with the unfaithful servant who given one talent by his master, did nothing with it. Instead, he buried it under the ground. (Mt 25.24-28) So the boomers’ advice is predictable: be in a place where you can use best use your gifts for the Lord’s glory.

These distinctive generational and socio-cultural perspectives are the lenses that the boosters and the boomers bring to their reading and understanding of Scripture. The purpose of this essay is to examine the respective generational perspectives and see whether they are in line with biblical teaching.

Arguably the most influential leaders in Asia today, still come from the booster generation. Though many in the booster generation may have retired, they still retained immense influence as highly respected elder statesman. Their lives of faithful dedication, self sacrifice, obedience, godliness and commitment is the ‘gold’ standard by which contemporary Christians are measured by.

In Malaysia, many men and women[7] of Dr David’s generation were pioneers in many movements and institutions that we take for granted today. Movements like the Fellowship of Evangelical Students, Graduates Christian Fellowship, Scripture Union, bible colleges like Malaysia Bible Seminari, social services like Malaysian Care, national Christian movements like the NECF and so on. They were among the first generation of Evangelical leaders and provided needed leadership for many churches in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

The torch is now slowly but surely passing on to the baby boomers generation. Many from this generation are currently the senior pastors, and senior Christian leaders in churches, and organisations, both secular and Christian today. Their influence will rise even as that of the booster generation wane.

Therefore it is important for us to ask whether the booster generation’s emphasis on self denial, and sacrifice, is more of a generational cultural perspective rather than necessarily a biblical perspective. Conversely, has the baby boomers’ generational cultural perspective soft pedalled the biblical demands concerning the cost and cross of discipleship? Has self fulfilment taken priority over Christ centeredness?[8]

It is important for these conflicting perspectives to be sorted out properly based on biblical principles and understanding. If not, unnecessary conflict in their understanding of the demands of discipleship between the booster generation and the baby boomers generation will hinder the progress of the Gospel[9].

Let us now consider the Gospels’ cost and cross passages in more detail. It is clear from the passages that there is indeed a cost and a cross to discipleship. However Wilkins argues that :

“the same cost of discipleship is not demanded for all. Jesus personalises the cost of discipleship according to what he knows are the priorities of a person’s heart. For example, the saying on hating father and mother and leaving family must be balanced with incidents such as the one involving the Gerasene demoniac. The Gerasene man, out of whom were cast a legion of demons, begged to accompany Jesus, yet Jesus redirected his attention, telling him, ‘Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you. (Mk 5.18; Lk 8.38-39). Here the person is told to go back specifically to his household and friends to tell them of Jesus. Jesus knew the heart of the person, knew what was best for the proclamation of the Gospel, and did not call the person to the same kind of ‘cost’ to which others were called. His calling was personalised in line with Jesus’ knowledge of the priorities of his life and Jesus’ intentions for him.” (Wilkins 1992: 110, italics, mine)

In consistently asking all Christians to always take on the more difficult and less travelled path, we forget that Jesus did not uniformly ask the same cost of discipleship for all his disciples. Some were asked to leave father and mother, others to stay home. Some like the rich young ruler was told to sell everything he has and give to the poor.

22When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." 23When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. 24Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Lk 18.22-25)

At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Mk 10.22)

But Nicodemus, and Joseph of Arimathea who were also rich were not told to do the same. For these two men, wealth was not the issue in their lives.

Similarly to consistently advise Christians to a place where they may fully utilise their gifts may be akin to urging Christians to put self fulfilment and development above Christ. Our priorities must be the Gospel and the Kingdom of God. Not our ambitions, personal development, security and family.

In the final analysis, the Gospel’s cost and cross passages must be understood at two different levels. So far we have been concentrating on the first level which is directed to the would-be disciple of Jesus. These passages tell the would be disciple what it cost to respond to the biblical call to salvation. Which is essentially a call to the Kingdom of God, a call to believe on Jesus for eternal life. For the term disciple in the bible designated a believer in Jesus. ( See Wilkins 1992:111)

In presenting our evangelistic message, we must make clear that there is a cost to being a disciple of Jesus. The good news of the Gospel as Grayston puts it, is not a “time-share presentation detailing the benefits. We do not pander to the ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality of the world”[10]. (Grayston 2007:41) It is clear that true faith means having an allegiance to Christ alone. No other allegiances must hinder a person from a life of discipleship and obedience to God. Hence no ‘idol’, be it ambition, family or personal desires for power, wealth and influence must take precedence over Christ. Christ sternly taught: “If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. (Mk 9.43). There is a thus a cost to pay and a cross to be carried.

The second level in which the cost and cross passages need to be understood is the continuing cost of what it means to live out the call of God upon our lives, once we are now his disciples. It is a more than a question of vocation. It involves the whole person before Christ. It asks the question, “ In all that I am, in all that I do, am I living in conformity to Christ? Am I obedient to His call and will in my life?”

Without a good and biblical understanding of call, it is difficult to properly apply the gospel’s cost and cross passages. Either we are too hard or we are too soft on ourselves. We find it hard to find the proper balance. Therefore on a personal level, the conscientious Christian may have the tendency to be harder on himself than biblically warranted. Given a situation where he is given a choice between a ‘harder’[11] option and an ‘easier’ option, he will always opt without much thinking for the harder option.

For in his mind, this will always please the Lord. For he fears that the easier option is a temptation to put self above Christ. Therefore in taking the harder option, he has the assurance, that he is certainly not pleasing himself. For given a choice he will choose the easier option. But amidst all this troubled soul searching, it is not pleasing the Lord which is the main motive. It is taking the easy way out in ensuring a guilt free state of mind. He has not taken the pains to consider God’s call upon his life at all.

The uncommitted Christian on the other hand as Hwa Yung so perceptively put it, “will take the path of least resistance in life, spiritually and emotionally”[12] ( Yung 2007:23)

So how do we understand God’s call upon our lives? One of the best definitions of calling is that given by Os Guinness. Calling according to him is much more than a job or even a vocation. It involves not only what we do, but who we are, the complete person before God He writes:

Calling is the truth that God calls us to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out as a response to his summons and service[13]. (Guinness 1998: 4)

In other words, calling gives us a focused sense of purpose in our life, a reason for being not just doing a task, or a job or responsibility. A biblical purpose is always an unchanging reason for being. It holds true for you regardless of your circumstances or season of life. As Boa puts it “When a Christ-centred purpose become the focus of your life, it harmonizes all the other areas, such as family, work, finances and [14]ministry”. Life without a transcendent source of purpose and calling would be an exercise in futility. Malcolm Muggeridge^[15] puts it well,

“It has never been possible for me to persuade myself that the universe could have been created, and we, homo sapiens, so-called, have, generation after gen­eration, somehow made our appearance to sojourn briefly on our tiny earth, solely in order to mount the interminable soap opera, with the same charac­ters and situations endlessly recurring, that we call history. It would be like building a great stadium for a display of tiddly-winks, or a vast opera house for a mouth-organ recital. There must, in other words, be another reason for our existence and that of the universe than just getting through the days of our life as best we may; some other destiny than merely using up such physical, intel­lectual and spiritual creativity as has been vouchsafed us”.

Understanding call in terms of life-purpose, life-task help us to release the full potential of Christians to serve the Lord according to their talents, gifts, burdens and passion. As Steven Covey writing in the context of secular management observes:

“when you engage in work (ministry) that taps your talents and fuels your passion that rises out of a great need in the world (church?) that you feel drawn by conscience to meet; therein lies your voice, your calling, your soul’s code”. [16] (Boa 2004:5)

It is therefore possible that God’s call upon our life, vocationally, may be to a place and a lifestyle that on the surface is comfortable and luxurious. Nonetheless, in God’s wisdom, it would prove strategic, effective and essential for the proclamation of the gospel. Nehemiah’s position as cup bearer to King Artaxerxes was a privileged, cushioned and influential position. So too, Daniel and his three friends. It would be a great mistake to ask Nehemiah, Daniel and his three friends to go to a small village in the Babylonian empire simply because we believe mistakenly that Christ asked us to always take the more sacrificial and less attractive option. We must not rule out the possibility that God may have placed them where they are.

On the other hand, Dr Paul Brand , a world renowned hand surgeon in his early years worked in an unknown Christian missionary leprosy hospital in Vellore, India. Arguably he could have worked in any well known hospital in the Western world. There he will have access to much better facilities. But Vellore was the place where he made most of his cutting edge discoveries in hand surgery. Fiona E. Thomas gives additional information below[17]:

“A skilled and inventive surgeon , he pioneered tendon transfer techniques with leprosy patients, and opened up a whole new world of disability prevention and rehabilitation for the most vulnerable and helpless in society. In the late 1940s, he became the first surgeon in the world to use reconstructive surgery to correct the deformities of leprosy in the hands and feet”.

Dr Paul was highly honoured for his pioneering surgical work. Among them:

He was Hunterian Professor of the Royal College of Surgeons in 1952; in 1960 he received the Albert Lasker Award for outstanding leadership and service in the field of rehabilitation; in 1961 he was honoured by Queen Elizabeth II with a CBE (Commander of the British Empire) for promotion of good relations between the Republic of India and Great Britain; in 1977 the Damian-Dutton Award for outstanding contributions in prevention of disabilities due to leprosy; and the US Surgeon General's Medallion for his rehabilitation work in Carville, LA..

He passed away in 2003. So Dr Paul Brand chose the harder, more sacrificial route in his early years as a doctor. Later he chose the ‘easier’ route and moved to America.[18] . He also received many honours and awards. Did he therefore compromise in his later years, the principles taught in the biblical passages of cost and cross?

Surely not. He responded to the continuing call of God on his life. Dr Paul Brand surrendered his life to Christ. His life was like the other great Paul, the apostle who wrote:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Gal 2.20)

Henri Nouwen[19] sums it up well:

“Whether we work in an office, travel the world, write books, make films, care for the poor, offer leadership, or fulfil unspectacular tasks, the question is not ‘What do I most want?’ but ‘What is my vocation?’ The most prestigious position in society can be an expression of obedience to our call as well as a sign of our refusal to hear that call, and the least prestigious position, too, can a be a response to our vocation as well as a way to avoid it.” (Nouwen 1996:77)

It is thus helpful to realize that Jesus personalized the cost of discipleship according to each individual. One person’s weakness is another person’s strength. Our Lord and Shepherd knows our hearts intimately and he personalizes His call accordingly. We cannot demand the cost of discipleship to be the same, on all and sundry. In addition, a proper understanding of calling will help us to better evaluate the insights, the strengths and weaknesses of the booster and boomers generation understanding of the cost and cross messages of the Gospels. If we clearly understand God’s will or calling for us, then we must be prepared to pay whatever cost Christ may have for us. We must be willing to bear whatever cross He may have for us.

Christ may send us to an impoverished third world country. A country without proper medical care, running water or electricity. Where it is a severe trial just to carry out we routine daily chores, like cooking and washing. But at the same time, it may be a place where the people are responsive and seek the Lord with great fervour. Or He may send us to a place where we have access to the best medical care and every possible modern conveniences. But where the people are cold and hardened against the gospel. Conversely, Christ may send us to a place that is modern, developed and where the people are zealous and hungry for the Lord!

In the end, however, the cost of discipleship to each individual is the same for all true disciples of Christ. We are to completely surrender our lives to the Lord. To go where He send us without question. For finally: “The cost of discipleship is one’s own life”. (Wilkins 1992: 218).

---

[1] Stott, John. The Cross of Christ. Downers Grove: IVP, 1986, p7

[2] Wilkins, Michael Following the Master: A Biblical Theology of Discipleship, Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992, p 221

[3] However I am not suggesting in any way that Dr David subscribes fully to the Booster generation’s worldview. In his advice to young and old, he seeks prayerfully to discover the will of God together with whoever is seeking his counsel. He certainly doesn’t give un-reflected standard advice.

[4] Yung, Hwa, "Should Christian Emigrate," Understanding the Modern World Through Modern Eyes, October 2007, Kairos Publications

[5] Consider the Pauline theme of equality within the social structure in Gal 3.28; 1 Cor 12.13; Col 3.11

[6] See Kath Donovan, Myors, Ruth, "Reflections on Attrition in Career Missionaries: A Generational Perspective into the Future," in Too Valuable to Lose, ed. William D. Taylor (Pasadena: William Carey Library, 1997).

[7] We think of Rev Peter Young, David Boler, Rev Loh Soon Choy, Elena and Harold Cooke and others like them. Dr David himself was the first chairman of the OMF Malaysia.

[8] Because of space constrains we will leave out the busters generational cultural perspective. Besides we want to major on the influence of leaders. The busters as a whole are still too young to exercise wide spread, national influence.

[9] Some of the points of difficulty between the booster, boomers and buster generation had been documented by Donavan and Myors in their article quoted in the essay.

[10] John Grayston, "Devotional on Ps 27," Encounter With God, October to, Dec, 2007,p 41 .

[11] “Harder” is relative. Teaching in a third world country may be more difficult in terms of physical conditions. But teaching in a ‘liberal’ seminary may be ‘harder’ emotionally, socially and academically. One may very well be ridiculed, marginalised and put into cold storage for your evangelical views.

[12] Although in his article, Yung is writing about issues pertaining to ‘migration’.

[13] Os Guinness, The Call (Nashville: Word Publishing, 1998), p 4

[14] Kenneth Boa, Conformed to His Image (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001), p 465

[15] Quoted by Kenneth Boa in Conformed to His Image, p 455

[16] Stephen Covey, The 8Th Habit (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004). p5, parenthesis, mine

[17] The information on Paul Brand is taken from an obituary written by Fiona Ellen Thomas Communications Officer The Leprosy Mission International http://www.leprosymission.org

[18] In 1966 he was seconded to the United States Public Health Service Hospital in Carville, Louisiana, which is the only leprosy hospital in the US and a world-famous centre for leprosy research

[19] Henri Nouwen, Can You Drink The Cup? (Mumbai: Pauline Publications, 1996), 77.

(IV) Garden of Eden lost

Recap and introduction

Talk (I) Marriage in the Garden of Eden - The gift of the bride, biblical principles of marriage

Talk (II) Outside the Garden of Eden – Thistles and Thorns, The challenges facing marriage

Talk (III) Building a home outside the Garden of Eden -The challenge to make a good marriage better – let’s grow old together, the best is yet to be.

Talk (IV) Garden of Eden lost. (cf Paradise Lost, John Milton) Things fall apart; the center cannot hold - Serious breaches of the marriage covenant.

How is it possible for a couple who have been married 20 years and have four children together finally come to the decision to divorce one another?

They must have loved each other deeply enough to consider and to go through marriage.

What happened? How did they lose ‘paradise’? How is it possible that so much good will, so much promise for good can be frittered away. With nothing remaining but hate, bitterness, anger, finger pointing and the deep desire to be rid of the other? This is the supreme irony for as young lovers will tell you, they can’t wait to be with one another, and all they long for is to be with one another. Now, they can’t wait to live apart and to permanently not to have anything to do with the other.

Will there ever come a time when we the leaders of the church may have to reluctantly, regretfully, agree that a couple is permitted to divorce? When we have to acknowledge that things have tragically fallen apart. The centre simply cannot hold:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction,

while the worst are full of passionate intensity.

William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming

The Centre cannot hold

When can we tell that the centre cannot hold and the marriage is over? What is the quintessential essence of marriage – once this is broken, divorce can be considered. What is it that breaks the marriage bond? What constitutes an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage?

(In the discussion that follows, we are assuming that both husbands and wives are committed Christians)

Definition of marriage

“Marriage is an exclusive heterosexual covenant between one man and one woman, ordained and sealed by God, preceded by a public leaving of parents, consummated in sexual union, issuing in a permanent mutually supportive partnership, and normally crowned by the gift of children”. (Cf. Gen 2.23-25) John Stott Issues Facing Christians, 4^th Edition, p 361

Permanence of marriage, restoration and reconciliation of broken relationships is the emphasis – nowhere is divorce commanded or indeed encouraged.

Mt 19 3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" 4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Three main purposes for marriage reflecting covenantal responsibilities

Listed in the order in which they are mentioned in Gen 1 and 2. Note, priority of order does not necessarily signify priority of importance.

(I) The reciprocal commitment of self-giving love which finds its natural expression in sexual union

Breaches : (adulterer)

Mt 5. 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Mt 19.9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The one flesh principle is foundational to marriage as divinely ordained and biblically defined, ( p 372) – nothing less than a violation (by sexual infidelity) of this fundamental relationship break the marriage covenant ( p 381)

(II) Commanded to be fruitful. Procreation of children, together with their upbringing within the love and discipline of the family.

Provider, protector, guardian, partner, setting the tone in terms of discipline, commitment to the Lord.

Breaches: Abuser, violator, destroyer, abdicator (violent, drunkard, addict – alcohol, gambling, drugs, computers) Importance of pastoral considerations

(III) Companionship – it is not good for man to be alone

Breaches : (desertion, abandonment) (permission to divorce and remarry in case of non Christian spouse who deserts spouse solely because of his/her conversion to Christianity.

Summary of scriptural teaching

· God created human kind male and female in the beginning, and himself instituted marriage. His intention was and is that human sexuality will find fulfilment in marriage, and that marriage will be an exclusive, loving and lifelong union. This is his purpose. (Gen 2.24)

· Divorce is nowhere commanded, and never even encouraged, in Scripture. On the contrary, even if biblically justified, it remains a sad and sinful declension from the divine norm. (Mt 19.6)

· Divorce and remarriage are permissible (not mandatory) on two grounds. Firstly, an innocent person may divorce his or her partner if the latter has been guilty of serious sexual immorality. (Mt 5.32; 19.9) Secondly, a believer may acquiesce in the desertion of his or her unbelieving partner, if the latter refuses to go on living with him or her. (1 Cor 7.10-16) In both cases, however, the permission is given in negative or reluctant terms. Only if a person divorces his or her partner o the ground of marital unfaithfulness is his or her remarriage not adulterous. Only if the unbeliever insists on leaving is the believer not bound. (p 377)

· We may on occasion feel at liberty to advise the legitimacy of a separation without a divorce, or even a divorce without a remarriage,(eg : violence, abusive, disruptive behaviour affecting the safety of spouse and children) taking 1 Cor 7:11 as our warrant. But we have no liberty to go beyond the permissions of our Lord. He knew his Father’s will and cared for his disciples’ welfare. Wisdom, righteousness and compassion are all found in following him. ( p 385)

Pastoral care and concern

'Divorce is always a painful experience and the church's first task is to speak (by word and action) of God's attitude of grace and mercy for those who go through this trauma.

Stott, “marital breakdown is always a tragedy. It contradicts God’s will, frustrates his purpose, brings to husband and wife the acute pains of alienation, disillusion, recrimination and guilt, and precipitates in any children a crisis of bewilderment, insecurity and often anger” p 360

Mal 2.16 I hate divorce cf. Hos 14.4 I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, for my anger has turned away from them

“The primary question is how it may find some arrangement that will give adequate form both to our beliefs about the permanence of marriage and to our belief about the forgiveness of the penitent sinner” Professor Oliver O’Donovan ( p 383)

It could express this ambivalence either by permitting the remarriage in church (emphasising the gospel of redemption), while adding some kind of discipline (recognising God’s marriage norm), or by refusing the remarriage in church (empathising the norm), while adding some expression of acceptance ( recognising the gospel)”

Final personal challenges for us

The Knowing/Doing Gap

There is a gap between our knowledge and our ability or willingness to do it.

Don’t know what to do

Know what to do but do not have the willingness to do it

Know what to do but seemingly we do not have the ability to do it

Why is this so?

Knowing what is right is important – we need to retain the vision of what a marriage under God, ought to be – Adam, “this at last is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh”. Our spouse are our soul mates, our best friends, there is no one closer, our spouse are our partners in the business of life, building the home, nurturing children, serving and honouring God. Our steps should quicken, our hearts lighter and glader when it is time for us to head home….in the theme song of the King of Queens, “All my life I will be coming home to you”

The King of Queens-Theme

My eyes are gettin' weary,

My back is gettin' tight,

I'm sittin' here in traffic,

On the Queensborough bridge tonight,

But I don't care cuz all I wanna do,

Is cash my check and drive right home to you,

Cuz baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

But it is not enough

Honesty

We need honesty to admit we are not satisfied with the status quo, with the present state of our marriage. We do not talk enough, share enough. Not enough courtesy, respect, affection. Too much contempt, irritation. What happened to my vows to love, to cherish, to show unconditional love……..

Status quo

Marriage begins to break up when we accept the status quo, indeed perpetuate the status quo.

We need to say,

“I love my wife/husband. I will not accept what is happening now to my marriage – I will do whatever it takes to fulfil my vows to love, to cherish my spouse – a vow I made before the Lord, in the presence of God’s people and to my spouse”.

Hard work

It needs hard work – dissatisfaction with the status quo must go on to a firm resolve to action : this is what I would do : confess, repent, start anew, if need be, see somebody for counsel – take firm, concrete, definite steps – no more foul words, no more taunting, challenging, ….habits and patterns of behaviour set through many years takes time to unravel. Hard work needs to be made to set new habits and re-established new patterns of behaviour. Research shows it needs at least 90 days or three months!

Perseverance

Daily irritants

Irritation, complaints, injustice and unfairness, disgruntled – often over quite legitimate reasons and grounds. Temptation to react and to respond in the same old familiar, habitual, destructive ways.

We need perseverance on our part to continue to respond with love and affection and patience for our spouse to respond in the same way. Here the husbands need to take the lead.

Waiting upon God

It needs iron discipline to wait upon God – tyranny of the urgent, our laziness, our lack of enthusiasm, a thousand other excuses…..

Stott reminds us of the iron discipline of the Lord’s greatest servant:

Moses sought God, “the Lord spoke to Moses face to face”, David looked to the Lord as his shepherd, his light, and salvation, his rock, the stronghold of his life and in times of distress found “strength in the Lord my God, “ Paul prayed through and was able to say, “ your grace is sufficient for me….Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane….your will not mine…..

Then and only then can we live a life of self denial, self forgetting unconditional love

Without being overwhelmed by our fears and worries over our rights being trampled upon when we practiced unconditional love. Then only can we let go of the need to overemphasise on our rights

Corporate/community level

There is need for the church to organise marriage renewal weekends and if need be marriage counsel

Remember:

No marriage so good that it cannot be improved.

No marriage so bad that it cannot be renewed

in our first talk, entitled Gift of the bride – we reminded ourselves that marriage is ordained by God. He has not taken his eyes off our marriage. It is God’s will that marriage is permanent, until death do us part. With the Spirit’s enabling and empowerment it is possible for each of us to say to our spouse,

"Let us grow old together. The best is yet to be."

(III) Marriage outside the garden of Eden. Settling down as exiles

Lets make a good marriage better and Let’s grow old together; The best is yet to be.

There is a couple staying in a corner house at the end of our row. They are retired – but they keep themselves busy. The husband spends time gardening, wife religiously walks every afternoon, rain or shine. They are healthy, interact well with one another and are friendly with the neighbours. Picture of a couple in idyllic retirement.

Being the best of friends and enjoying the autumn and winter years of our lives together do not take place automatically or naturally. In fact the opposite is true – couples at best grow distant from one another. In many cases years of hostility boil over and couples in their late 50’s and 60’s end up divorced or with one parent staying with a son and the other in the home of another sibling.

In order to for us to grow old together, with the best as yet to be, couples has to work very hard. Primarily it requires the hard work of :

· Community

· Couple

Community

Good biblical teaching on marriage

The sanctity of marriage

Gen 2 ²⁴This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. ²⁵ Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

“Marriage is an exclusive heterosexual covenant between one man and one woman, ordained and sealed by God, preceded by a public leaving of parents, consummated in sexual union, issuing in a permanent mutually supportive partnership, and normally crowned by the gift of children”.

John Stott Issues Facing Christians, 4^th Edition, p 361

Basics

heterosexual, monogamy. It is the exclusive union of one man and one woman

publicly acknowledged – needs the sanction and protection of the law, leaving of parents with its legal implications – ownership or property, children, profession of faith, financial obligations to family….

permanently sealed (cleave to his wife) marriage is a loving, cleaving commitment or covenant

physically consummated (one flesh)

Scriptures envisages no other kind of marriage or sexual intercourse, for God provided no alternative

“ the fact is every kind of sexual relationship and activity which deviates from God’s revealed intention is ipso facto (by that very fact) displeasing to him and under his judgement. This includes polygamy and polyandry, (which infringe the one man, one woman principle) cohabitation and clandestine unions (since these have involved no decisive public leaving of parents with its legal ramifications), casual encounters and temporary liaisons, adultery and many divorces ( which conflict with “cleaving” and with Jesus’ prohibition let man not separate ) and homosexual partnerships (which violates the statement that a man shall be joined to his wife) .” Stott op cit p 458

I hate divorce

Mal 2.¹³Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. ¹⁴ You ask, Why? It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.¹⁵ Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ¹⁶ I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel, and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment, says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Mt 19 1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went down to the region of Judea east of the Jordan River. 2 Large crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick. 3 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’^[a] 5 And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’^[b] 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” 7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”^[c] they asked. 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.

Practical steps as a Community

Good preparation of couples for marriage and good continuing pastoral care of the young

Couples. (Personal and institutional or corporate) Care Group for young couples.

Continual involvement of an older mentoring couple

Marriage renewal weekends and follow ups

Reconciling ministry

Pastoral care and ministry to the divorced

Community and Character building

Good teaching, modelling, mentors and counselling within the community will help couples have the determination to keep the vows we have made to our spouse before God in the presence of his people. The keeping of our vows has the effect of building character in us.

Secondly, as mentioned earlier, the restrains and disciplines of a strong community life will be infinitely be helpful to couples in their marriages – not just one lonely couple struggling to make their marriage work all by themselves.

Finally, belonging to and having a meaningful involvement in a community of faith will help couples form habits of obedience, make and keep commitments to honour, cherish and unconditionally love one another.

Through all this we become the people of God.

This is where the skills come in (place of seminars, conferences, etc) not necessary exclusively of one another but inclusively and at the same time as character building

Couple

Equipping couples with skills

The individual – Myers Briggs Temperament Indicator, or other personality and temperament tests

Individuality and influence of family of origins

Communication skills

Language of love - cf Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love

Conflict resolutions – need of humility, forgiveness and repentance

Bonding time

Birthdays

Anniversaries – red flags – nothing to talk about, or same old, same old (haven’t grown, or grown apart, too self centred, not other orientated enough….)

Holidays (unrestricted, time of attending to and listening to one another)

Blocking out the dates

Weekly (M&Ms the candy that melts in your mouth and not in your hands!) – weekend activities …….

Daily (hot cuppa)

(II) Marriage Outside the Garden of Eden: Thistles and thorns

Consequences of the fall. To recap: The first marriage is set in paradise, before the fall, with Adam and Eve at their newly minted best.

But soon after in chapter three, Adam and Eve fell into sin. Rapidly we see the consequences of the fall on their relationship.

Thistles and thorns

Gardening – finished work is lovely – think of the ideal garden - manicured lawns, nicely trimmed hedges, lovely landscaped greenery from well pruned clumps of bamboo, to the giant rain tree providing shade. The greenery cleverly contrasted with flowers, of every hue and colour and to top it off, luscious fruit trees – providing fruit seasonally throughout the year.

What we do not see are the endless weeding, the battle with bugs, and disease (fungi growth), thistles flourish and grow green fat and healthy without any need of care while roses, daffodils, orchids, Taiwanese carpet grass requires endless care, watering, fertilisers, insecticides…….

After the wedding and the honeymoon, comes the business of building a home and the drudgery of maintaining the home – cleaning, dusting, washing, sweeping. Dirty dishes and greasy woks and sauce pans….. this is when the going gets tough for our married couples.

What happens when Marriage Gets Tough? Two stories.

(I) Marriage Martyr

“I remembered our courtship years and the excitement I felt when I'd get ready for one of our dates. I'd spend hours thinking about it and preparing for it. What should I wear? I'd think. Something he hasn't seen me in before. Where's my good perfume? Does my hair look okay?

I wondered how a relationship once so carefree had turned into a competition dominated by one-upmanship. I was having difficulty transitioning from the fun-exciting-butterflies-in-the-stomach stage of dating to the mundane, everyday frustrations and hectic pace of modern married life. Though I'd been blissfully happy while we were dating, once the honeymoon was over, I felt increasingly dissatisfied. I focused constantly on the things my husband used to do for me but now neglected. I was alert to any discrepancies in our workloads, and determined to maintain equality. I was playing to win, and I was keeping score!

While my lifestyle and responsibilities changed after marriage, my expectations remained the same. As a girlfriend, I could pick and choose the parts of his life I wanted to share. This freed me to come and go when things got bad. I enjoyed low investment and high returns. But as a wife, I found myself committed to endure both the pleasant and unpleasant sides of life with my husband.

Over the years, as my expectations gave way to reality, I compensated with self-pity. This also gave me a great excuse not to work on my marriage. After all, as the mistreated wife, I never had to acknowledge my husband's good points or understand his feelings. I couldn't be expected to praise his moments of better judgment or take responsibility for overcoming the lack of romance in our relationship (one more task for my mammoth to-do list!)”. Marriage Martyr Renata Waldrop, a freelance author, lives in Tennessee.

(II) Married the wrong person?

“Kevin and I met at a Christian singles retreat. By the end of the retreat, I'd made a new friend—but assured myself that was all. We were just too different to be more.

Kevin talked little, but when he did, it was often about the Bible. He was refreshingly genuine.

We began to pray and attend Bible study together. After a few months, he proposed. Despite all the good memories we were making, we were also beginning to disagree often. I assured myself, however, that marriage would make us "one" on issues of childrearing, spending, and the many other annoying differences we faced.

As any married person could have told me, that was an erroneous assumption. Marriage only magnified our differences. We fought regularly, and our life together hurt. Soon I found myself pondering my friend's advice. After all, I reasoned, Christians aren't perfect. What if I married the wrong person? Why stay married if it's all about fighting? Why be unhappy”?

Marital expectations and marital suffering

The experience of marital suffering is linked to marital expectations or desires. Short of objective physical or emotional violence, we suffer in marriage when the experience we are having falls short of our Expectations.

The question then that must be asked is this: what kinds of expectations of marriage are appropriate to the covenant promises actually exchanged? Excessive desires set the spouses up for the perception of suffering, in situations that would not have been perceived this way in earlier eras.

Covenantal nature of marriage

Marriage was designed by God in creation to meet certain fundamental needs of the human being. When those needs are richly met, we flourish. Covenant is the structural principle of marriage, holding weak and fickle human beings to the promises they have made. When the marriage covenant is sturdy, it provides a stable and enduring context for the pursuit of the creational blessings of companionship, sex, and family partnership. Strong skill and virtue development in meeting creation-related needs and fidelity to covenant promises can lead to genuinely joyful marital partnerships. Such relationships reach near the pinnacle of what God created humans to be.

Covenantal vow to keep needs and obligations

The success of any marriage depends on meeting the creation-based needs of the spouse in at least a minimally satisfactory fashion and on maintaining faithfulness to the marriage covenant. These basics of marriage are not merely cultural but "covenantal," that is, suffering comes in marriage when aspects of companionship, sex, or family partnership fall far enough short of expectations as to create the experience of pain.

However due to our fallen and sinful nature, failure to meet valid expectations is inevitable and disappointment, pain or suffering is experienced.

Outside Garden of Eden : Suffering is an inevitable feature of marriage

People need to be taught, as they were in more sober times, that a measure of suffering is an inevitable feature of marriage. Not only does marriage fail to mitigate the struggles of life … it actually deepens them, rendering them even more poignant, because more personal. (David P. Gushee)

Causes of suffering

From without – better for worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health

The traditional wedding vows reflect the awareness that every marriage is threatened by external enemies. Two types of enemies are named in the vows: poverty and illness. When the couple says "for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health," they are promising to remain loyal to their marriage covenant regardless of the trials created by poverty or illness.

Unemployment and financial pressures remain a major source of difficulty in marriage even today. Illness or incapacitation of a spouse or child likewise creates one of the major forms of marital suffering. Most will know of a marriage that did not prove capable of enduring such afflictions.

Numerous other factors extraneous to the marriage itself can create marital suffering. These can include illness or bereavement in the family or extended family. Job stresses that threaten to grind up the human spirit of one of the spouses are a major issue. A move demanded by school or work can be quite stressful. This list could be extended. Suffice it to say that most marriages will face such external sources of suffering at one time or another.

Within –

But improved economic and physical conditions in contemporary society mean that the internal sources of marital suffering are by now more significant. This is not a coincidence. Little irritations in the marital relationship don't matter when the Nazis might land on Long Island any day, or when we're not sure where the next meal is coming from. Lacking such pressures and fears, we have the tragic liberty to turn on each other or self-destruct.

Internal sources of suffering in marriage come in three primary forms. They may have to do with my partner, with me, or with the dynamics of our relationship.

Suffering comes in marriage when aspects of companionship, sex, or family partnership fall far enough short of expectations as to create the experience of pain. Perhaps there is a failure to share adequately in the labour of running a household or meeting its expenses. Maybe there is a lack of time spent together in leisure. Perhaps the sexual relationship lacks passion or mutual satisfaction. The friendship dimension of marriage may have eroded. Or maybe chronic conflicts arise over how the children should be disciplined or educated. Marriage was created to meet very basic human needs in these areas, and such failures will elicit suffering. If spouses work together in the same business, stress and strains of normal everyday running of the business can cause enormous stress and strains on the marriage. The tensions of the work is carried forward into the domestic arena.

Many marriages fail because of the moral, psychological, or spiritual problems of just one of the spouses. It is extraordinarily tragic, but all too common—a promising marriage between two people who love each other deeply is brought down not by any external stress but by the immoral or irresponsible behaviour of one of the partners. Gambling addictions and other kinds of addictions.

Individual response to suffering differs

· Shouting – nothing to husband, but may be a great deal to the spouse

What Shall We Do with Our Suffering?

· First determine realistically and accurately what is the present state of your marriage.

1. Ecstatic Union

2. Intimate Partnership

3. Cordial Friendship

4. Peaceful coexistence

5. Tense silence

6. Active hostility

7. Full-scale belligerence

8. Irreconcilable brokenness

· Take covenantal obligations seriously. We don't keep vows; the vows keep us. (Mike Mason)

· Seek or grant forgiveness

· Attempt to seek root cause of conflict and discord

· Seek counsel

· Be assured of support

Suffering comes in marriage, but if we endure, if we hold true, it does not necessarily stay. Darkness may come with the night, but joy comes in the morning.

David P. Gushee

Series on marriage (I)

(I) Marriage in the Garden of Eden - The gift of the bride, biblical principles of marriage

Introduction

Marriage is the most intimate relationship that we can have with another human being. It is closer than that between parents and children, between siblings and closer than that between soul mates (Jonathan and David). However it is not the closest, most intimate and meaningful relationship that we can have as a human being. That relationship is the one we have with our God, creator, redeemer, saviour and Lord.

However the marital relationship is the most basic and most important building block of society. When this basic relationship is in widespread decline and difficulty, society veers on the brink of chaos and collapse. The fall of mighty empires is almost always the result of the breakdown of the family due to corruption and immorality.

For us personally, this is true as well. If the marriage is not working, everything else is in trouble, from the home, to the office, to our ministry and fellowship in the church.

Divorce statistics

In the USA

Percentage of first marriages that end in divorce in 1997: 50%

Percentage of remarriages that end in divorce in 1997: 60%

Divorces as percentages of marriages

Belarus : 68%

Russia : 65%

Sweden : 64%

UK 53%

US : 49%

Canada 45%

The fallout from divorce is tremendous. Divorce results in dysfunctional homes, and dysfunctional children. As long ago as 1990 when I was in Canada doing my masters, husbands who abandoned wives and families have reached epidemic proportions. The cost to society in terms of increased potential for criminal activities, the increased number of families in need of welfare, more children dropping out of school, and consequently the loss of productivity to the state is immense. We certainly need to do more to protect the sanctity of marriage.

What has the bible to say and to teach about marriage?

Gen 2.

“The subtle change from ‘the heavens and the earth’ (1.1) to ‘the earth and heavens (2.4b) point to the shift in perspective : from God as sole actor to humanity as reactor”. Waltke, Genesis, p79

The setting: Garden of Eden

The first marriage is set in paradise, before the fall, with Adam and Eve at their newly minted best.

Gen 1.31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

In the midst of a newly minted creation, where everything was every good, we read that there was a discordant note: Gen 2.18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

It is not good

Waltke (ibid, p 88) “ essentially it is bad for Adam to be alone. God intends marriage, which entails intimacy and sexual relationship. Our longing for relationships, for friendship is modelled after God in whose image we are made. God does not exist in isolation but is a tri-unity, three persons revealed as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Augustine invites us to understand the tri-unity of God this way.

He taught : ‘ The Father is the lover, the Son the Beloved, and the Spirit the love that is between them and that unites them. surrounded by a heavenly court.

For love to exist there must be a lover and the beloved. If not, there is only narcissistic (self absorbed love) That God is a plurality is supported by the mention of the Spirit of God in 1:2 and the fact that the image of God itself is a plurality.

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

John Harriot comments ‘ If we are made in the image of God, we are made in the image of the Trinity; and the life of the Trinity must in some sort be reflected in the pattern of our human life’. God in the Trinity is revealed as ‘persons in relationship’. Hence being made in God’s image we too are persons in relationship. Hence it is not good for Adam to be alone.

Preparation of the man for the gift

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Waltke asked ‘ why does God determine that it is not good for Adam to be alone and then give him animals? In fact, Adam must realise that it is not good to be alone. Rather than squandering his most precious gift on one who is unappreciative, God waits until Adam is prepared to appreciate the gift of woman.

Eve was the missing link that Adam was looking for. This missing link cannot be found in all the other creatures created by God. It is a search for a soul mate. That special someone has to be specially created for Adam. God created Eve to perfectly complement Adam – like the fingers of both hands perfectly fitting in together. Hence the bible teaches us that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing. And obtains favour from the LORD”. Proverbs 18.22 (NASB)

Helper

God creates the woman to help Adam, that is, to honour his vocation, to share his enjoyment, and to respect the prohibition. The word help suggests that the man has governmental priority, but both sexes are mutually dependent on each other. The man is created first, with the woman to help the man, not vice versa; however, this does not mean ontological superiority or inferiority. The word helper ….signifies essential contribution, not inadequacy.”

Creation of the woman

Gen 2.21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Matthew Henry, “ the woman is not made out of his head to top him, not our of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.

Marriages are made in heaven!

22Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

God gives the man his wife. Every marriage is divinely ordained. Hence the holy and ideal state of marriage.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,
for she was taken out of man."

Man names the woman – signifies man’s authority in the home

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Leave

Because husband and wife are one flesh, the bond of marriage has priority over the parent child bonds. The husband’s obligations to his wife takes precedence over other priorities. This contrasts sharply with Asian and especially Confucian teaching on priority of parents and filial piety of children. (BTW an interesting question to the husband : if your mother and wife are both drowning, and you have only one life buoy, who would you throw the life buoy to?)

United

This is the language of covenant commitment cf. Hosea supremely speaks of the Lord’s love to unfaithful Israel.

Hos 2.14-23; 14 "Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.

16 "In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
19 I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you in ^[d] righteousness and justice,
in ^[e] love and compassion.

20 I will betroth you in faithfulness,

23 I will plant her for myself in the land;
I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one. ^[g] '
I will say to those called 'Not my people, ^[h] ' 'You are my people';
and they will say, 'You are my God.' "

The essence of covenantal love is show in our traditional wedding vows:

I, ________ take you, ________ to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy laws and this is my solemn vow.

One flesh monogamous, exclusive, permanent, no adultery

No shame image of openness and trust

Consequences of the fall. To recap: The first marriage is set in paradise, before the fall, with Adam and Eve at their newly minted best.

But soon after in chapter three, Adam and Eve fell into sin. Rapidly we see the consequences of the fall on their relationship.

Woman : frustrated in her natural relationships in the home: painful labour, insubordination towards her husband. Control has replaced freedom; coercion has replaced persuasion; division has replaced multiplication

Desire is to dominate or rule over her husband but ironically the man will dominate her. The alienation between the sexes can be seen in the power struggle rather than love and cherishing that is to come (Waltke)

Ugliness of marital conflict – we have all seen it, experienced it. We know which buttons to press to get a reaction from our spouses. The things we say, the things we do….

Spiritual lessons

As Waltke puts it ‘ the garden is paradise: if humanity fails in this ideal setting, then there is no hope for humanity to keep faith anywhere else. The failure of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden has profound theological significance. Since Adam was the only human being who could have resisted temptation, his failure implies that humanity cannot keep covenant with God. If Adam before the Fall proved unfaithful in Paradise, how much ….will we fail God outside Paradise and in our fallen sinful state.

Implications for marriage:

We need the humility to acknowledge the possibility that we are not Adam and
Eve at their best before the fall, in paradise. We are sinful, fallen, self absorbed, selfish fallen human beings. With a great proclivity to sin. Therefore we must be humble enough to acknowledge that :

Good intentions may not be good enough

Vows are not binding enough

Sincerity when put to the test will fail

Human love at its best will not be strong enough

Fortunately God did not forsake our first parents. God gave to Adam and Eve a Promise of deliverance and salvation: ‘I will put enmity between your offspring and hers’. Because natural Adam has failed, ultimately the woman’s offspring must be a heavenly Adam and his community

Therefore we need Jesus, we need God to be alive and well and at the centre of our relationship. We cannot make it on our own. We need :

His empowering Spirit to enable us to walk the straight and narrow

To convict us of sins so that we may turn away from temptations

We need to strive, to work hard and uncompromisingly to put Jesus at the centre and at the heart of our relationship, home and life.

The importance of community

When the marriage is new.

Consider for e.g. Newcomers to church come in with a host of habits, attitudes, worldviews and behaviours – gradually learn what it means to be a Christian through teaching, mentoring, discipling, modelling – business and integrity, honesty. Courtesy, respect, gentleness to the opposite sex, to the seniors, to the marginalised….

Similarly, belonging to and meaningful involvement in a community of faith will help couples who are newly married to form habits of obedience, make and keep commitments to honour, cherish and unconditionally love one another.

The restrains and disciplines of a strong community life will be infinitely helpful to couples in their marriages – not just one lonely couple struggling to make their marriage work all by themselves

A final personal challenge. What kind of person am I ?

Young couples concentrate much time and attention on the weddings. What they should major on is to ask themselves, “ what kind of person am I becoming so that my marriage will work. More than that, my marriage will be marked by unconditional love and honouring and glorifying to the Lord?

How do I become this kind of person?

Desire and longing and imploring of the Lord

Personal spiritual disciplines – QT, bible reading/study, prayer

Meaningful and active involvement in the life and ministries of the local community of faith.

Consider :

The real transforming work of marriage is the twenty-four-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week commitment. This is the crucible that grinds and shapes us into the character of Jesus Christ… Marriage calls us to an entirely new and selfless life… Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value.
—Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage (Zondervan)

The Lord has entrusted to us the message of reconciliation

End of year message, 2006

(The Lord has entrusted to us the message of reconciliation )

Introduction

The great temple of the Lord in Jerusalem has a very interesting layout. Right at the heart of the temple is the holy of holies where the ark of the Lord resides. Separated from the rest of the temple by a curtain. Radiating out we then have the holy place, the outer court, then the court of the gentiles which again is separated from the outer court.

The whole architecture of the temple speaks of walls, restrictions, exclusion. The temple continuously reinforce the fact that there is an insurmountable barrier between a holy God and sinful man. The heavy oppressive curtain, barring the way into the holy of holies for twenty centuries prevent free and unrestricted access to God. Only the high priest, after proper sacrifices could enter the holy of holies and that once a year.

Tradition has it that the high priest when he enters the holy of holies, has bells attached to his robe and has a rope tied to himself – so that if he offended God in any way – a very real possibility when sinful man is in the presence of a holy God – then when the bells stopped ringing for a long time, it can be assumed the priest had been struck dead and his fellow priest can then pull his corpse out with the rope.

Ps 51 this is the cry the cry of king David who in his affair with Bathsheba has broken all of the ten commandments . It is also the cry of sinful man and woman across the ages :

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Man is sinful. God is holy. There is an unbridgeable barrier between God and man. God is righteous. He must judged sin. Punish sin. Pour his wrath out upon sin.

Is 56.3 captures our despair well:

Further : the eunuchs say, “ I’m a dried up tree with no children and no future.

The foreigners who commit themselves to the LORD say, “ The LORD will never let me be part of his people”.

This too, was the despair In NT times, of the shepherds who watch over the flock by night, a despised group of people who because of their lowly occupation is ritually unclean. “ The LORD will never let me be part of his people”.

Right in the midst of this guilt, sin, fear, longing and anxiety we have this glorious verse:

2 Cor 5.19 God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them

No more dividing walls, barriers and curtains – the most holy God has forgiven the sins of man and counted not their aggressions against them. The holy God has reconciled with sinful man.

This is the heart of the Christmas message.

Notice the shepherds were the first to receive the message of the birth of the saviour. Lets read Is 56 again :

4 For this is what the LORD says:
"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose what pleases me
and hold fast to my covenant-

5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls
a memorial and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that will not be cut off.

6 And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD
to serve him,
to love the name of the LORD,
and to worship him,
all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
and who hold fast to my covenant-

7 these I will bring to my holy mountain
and give them joy in my house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
will be accepted on my altar;
for my house will be called
a house of prayer for all nations."

God became a man, he who knew no sin was made sin, so that through his atoning death on the cross, we may be reconciled to God, be a new creation experiencing the pardon, peace and power that such reconciliation brings

Post Christmas message …..

2 Cor 5.19 God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them and has entrusted to us the message of reconciliation.

How do we flesh out this reconciliation that we have received as a gift from God

People groups to people groups

Race relations between the Malays and the non Malays, especially the Chinese in our country is fragile, delicate and potentially explosive. The recent UMNO AGM brought out all these tensions in the open.

Malay rights cannot be challenged, otherwise the Malays will run amok and the May 13 (1969) riots will happen all over again.”

"The non-Malays are challenging us, it is time to raise our voices and defend the race and Islam.''

"We are willing to risk lives and bathe in blood to defend our race and religion. Don't play with fire. If they mess with our rights, we will mess with theirs.''

A Perlis’ delegate remarks ‘ Datok Hishammuddin, You have unsheathed the keris, waved it, kissed it, when are you going to use it?’

Les, we think these are the words of a few extremist elements, the UMNO greeted these divisive and seditious words with applause and rousing cheers.

Different Religion

S Shamala is a non-Muslim whose young children were converted to Islam without her consent by her estranged husband, and she reportedly fled Malaysia with her kids in tow after being caught in court limbo. Lina Joy’s other half has been forced to go into hiding together with her. The parents of Susie Teoh, who converted when she was a minor, were denied access to their daughter. There are more Malaysians who have suffered harrowing ordeals but whose stories have not hogged national headlines.

Why should it become a matter of state as to this person’s religion and burial?" asks Tunku A’amash Tunku Adnan, a founding member of the Article 11 coalition movement. He is referring to the controversy surrounding the late Rayappan Anthony. Mais refused documented proof of his renunciation of Islam and reconversion to Christianity. They wanted to seize his body to bury him according to Islamic rites.

Rich and poor –

Kampong demolition opens villagers’ eyes

“On 20^th November, the Selangor state government brutally demolished 65 urban pioneer houses in Kampung Berembang in Jalan Ampang. Men, women and teenagers locked arms to form a human barricade and terrified children screamed at the menacing bulldozers and the hundreds of advancing uniformed (personnel) the Kampung Berembang Committee argued and pleaded for the demolition to be deferred pending a court decision due in April 2007 and for negotiations to be held instead. But after a tough seven hour standoff, the entire village of wooden and brick houses was razed to the ground. By evening as the enforcement officials were finishing off the last few houses, crying children and babies, terror etched all over their little faces, huddled in makeshift tents as the rains lashed down

The demolition of Kg Berembang was an expose of the shameless collusion between government and private developer. Basically the government through its agents, the MPAJ and the police, did the dirty work for the developers who stayed away and only had to send in his blldzers( and later lunch for the enforcement team)

Probably for the first time in their lives, the Kampong Berembang villagers saw with their own eyes the government and its agencies siding openly with a private developer ……..the villagers recognise that the oppressor could be of any race, as could be the oppressed”. (Aliran:Vol.26 No 10)

How do we preach a message of reconciliation in such circumstances? How can we be ambassadors of reconciliation in such an atmosphere of anger, bitterness, distrust. When people’s hearts are burning with vengeance?

Persons to persons

Newspaper in Kentucky featured an enormous photograph on its front page. A black man and a white woman are sitting in her pastor’s study at her church. The man’s face is serene as he looks away from the camera and far beyond it, as if toward infinity. The woman’s line of vision crosses his, but her eyes bore into the viewer, as if searching the faces of strangers for a little human understanding. Her face is worried and her face puffy from crying. The man has just forgiven the woman for falsely accusing him of rape, an accusation that cost him eleven years of his life in a North Carolina prison.

Enemy –neighbour

( Jews and Palestinians)

Injustice, violence, human rights abuse by the Palestinians and the Jews

How do you live with your neighbour who is also your enemy?

Other-neighbour

Play badminton with them, live next door to them. Maybe attend the odd weddings, open house

We have civil conversations with one another, polite, sane and reasonable

But they are the Other

When push comes to shove, sentiments are expressed which shocked us

When push comes to shove, we express sentiments that can shock them.

But always it is we and they, us and them.

Reaching toward Reconciliation

Jacob and Esau an e.g. of divine and human reconciliation

“Jacob’s whole life has been nothing but one big fight after another, beginning already in the womb when he and Esau fought it out for the status of firstborn. That is the narrative pattern Jacob’s life will follow. He contends with his father, his father-in-law, his brother and his wives”.

He contends with God in a wrestling match just before he met up with his brother again. God blessed him, reconciled Jacob to himself by saying, “ Your name will no longer be Jacob (deceiver). From now on you will be called Israel (God fights) because you have fought with God and with men and have won. (Gen 32.28)

The next morning he looked up and what did he see but Esau coming with his 400 men. The brother whom he had cheated and who had sworn to kill him.

Jacob and Esau – embraced and then went separate ways. Jacob promised to meet up with Esau at Seir but never did. Instead he went on to Succoth and finally settled at Schechem (Gen 33.14)

Not a very satisfactory reconciliation. But in life, many things do not work out satisfactorily either. A couple divorced. Subsequently both remarried and became Christians. It is enough that they have tried to reconcile as best as they could under such difficult circumstances. But we cannot expect them to become bosom best friends.

Sometimes people who wronged us, continue to be unrepentant. What do we do then?

Martin Luther King

Richard Lischer had this to say about Martin Luther King’s collected sermons:

“In these sermons King tells the truth about the sins of racism, idolatry, militarism and violence. As Desmond Tutu puts it, he is not afraid to look the beast in the eye. Yet he does so in a way that is remarkably generous towards his enemies. Where it is possible to ‘explain’ racism as a symptom of fear of some other psychological or cultural disorder, he does so. He often takes time to understand and articulate the White Southerner’s anxiety in the face of change. He makes his judgements on racism and war against the backdrop of God’s profound love for the world, a theological awareness which lends to his sermons a brooding sense of pathos. In re-reading them one is reminded that the emotions most characteristic of a the prophet is not anger but sorrow. He tells the truth but rarely in bitterness of spirit and never with contempt for the Other. His truth-telling is pervaded by a sense of tragedy…although embroiled in many local conflicts, King never took his eye of cosmos and the universal fact of reconciliation. The victory he promises will be big enough to include victims and victimisers, the segregated and the segregators, in the beloved community. King fought as hard as anyone in America for new laws, but his sermons palpably yearn for the new thing that rises just beyond the law’s guarantees. And for King that new thing was the peculiarly American expression of God’s reconciliation of the world through Jesus Christ. ( p 160, f)

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

South Africa ‘Truth and Reconciliation Commission’

Desmond Tutu in the midst of social and political turmoil continues to preach his favourite text : Eph 2.14 ‘For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.”

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Foreword to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Report

“It is something of a pity that, by and large, the white community failed to take advantage of the Truth and Reconciliation process. They were badly let down by their leadership. Many of them carry a burden of a guilt which would have been assuaged had they actively embraced the opportunities offered by the Commission; those who do not consciously acknowledge any sense of guilt are in a sense worse off than those who do.

Apart from the hurt that it causes to those who suffered, the denial by so many white South Africans even that they benefited from apartheid is a crippling, self-inflicted blow to their capacity to enjoy and appropriate the fruits of change. But mercifully there have been glorious exceptions.

All of us South Africans must know that reconciliation is a long haul and depends not on a commission for its achievement but on all of us making our contribution. It is a national project after all is said and done. We have been privileged to help to heal a wounded people, though we ourselves have been, in Henri Nouwen's profound and felicitous phrase, ‘wounded healers’.

When we look around us at some of the conflict areas of the world, it becomes increasingly clear that there is not much of a future for them without forgiveness, without reconciliation. God has blessed us richly so that we might be a blessing to others. Quite improbably, we as South Africans have become a beacon of hope to others locked in deadly conflict that peace, that a just resolution, is possible. If it could happen in South Africa , then it can certainly happen anywhere else. Such is the exquisite divine sense of humour.”

From a Reservoir of Forgiveness

E.g. of Jesus (Lischer, The End of Words p 148)

He healed some people before they asked for help. He forgave others before they repented. Sometimes, his kindness, evoked repentance and faith, sometimes it did not ( 10 lepers healed, but only one a Samaritan returned to thank him). He himself died forgiving his unrepentant torturers. His death at the hands of his enemies is the event by which God continues to make peace with the whole world. If reconciliation is not free, it is not of God.

What tangible, concrete, realistic signs and gestures of reconciliation can we as a Christian community give to our country, our community, our church, our family?

• Be realistic – look the beast in the eye. This is Malaysia – neither paradise nor is it hell.
• Tell the truth about ourselves, about the Other
• Confess our sins
• Offer signs and meaningful gestures of reconciliation
• Best we could do may lie in us just wanting to reach out toward reconciliation. Which in the end must mark all that we say, and do as a person, as a church, as a community.

What Do We Want For Christmas?

Why doesn’t God give me what I want for Christmas.
Why doesn’t God act the way we want him to?

Why don’t we give God what he wants for Christmas.
Why don’t I act the way God wants me to?

Introduction

Our shopping would be much simpler if people tell us what they want for Christmas. As it is, it is very difficult trying to find a gift that is useful and not tacky. Our problem in gift buying is compounded when we are invited to a party and we have to bring a gift for gift exchange. In Emmanuel, we know the price of a penny, so we are asked to bring a gift that is not more than RM10. I asked our college CG folks originally to bring a gift of not more than RM5. There were howls of protest all round. "What can we buy nowadays for RM5?", they ask me. Even so what can we possibly get for RM10? At this rate, we are in danger of getting enough socks, assorted towels, key chains and toiletries for Christmas to start our very own RM10 shop.

Seriously, if given a choice what do we want for Christmas?

If you ask a beauty contestant for Miss Universe she would say “I would wish for world peace and love among mankind”

That sounds awfully corny, but the problem I suggest is not with her but with us for we have become so cynical. None of us believe there will be world peace and love and all the other fuzzy things that Miss Universe contestants talk about. When it comes to prayer for world peace and for love and goodwill among all men, God certainly doesn’t give us what we want for Christmas. He doesn’t act the way we want him to.

I suppose if we really want to complain there are many things in which God does not act the way we want him to. There are many things I want for Christmas, which God doesn’t seem to want to give me:

• People still fall sick, deadly diseases still kill millions
• Accidents, natural disasters are still a daily occurrence
• Wars and rumours of wars
• Dictators, madmen, downright evil men still rule failed states ( Zimbabwe, Haiti, Sudan, Somalia)
• Near civil war in Iraq, Palestine
• Missionaries and evangelists continue to be murdered, arrested, and tortured
• Families torn asunder, Christian leaders failing morality tests
• People in church not talking to one another

What did the Jewish community want from the Lord?

At the time of Jesus’ birth, what did the Jewish community really want? They wanted independence, they wanted the glory days of King David back. They wanted prosperity and justice. But in religious terms, the Jewish community wasn't particularly remarkable. In the 400 years of silence, there was no historical record of any community like that of Zinzendorf praying and interceding for a 100 years for God to act. At best there were a few individuals like Simeon and Anna looking for the consolation of Israel, i.e. waiting for the Messiah to come and rescue Israel.

Most of the Jews were just going through the motions of worship, going to the temple, the priests doing what they were supposed to be doing. People were praying but not really believing their prayers would be answered.

Zechariah for instance certainly did not expect the gift he received. He must have long forgotten his prayers for a child and no longer expected his prayers to be answered:

Lk 1. 11Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. 12When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. 13But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. 14He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth.^[b] 16Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. 17And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

18Zechariah asked the angel, "How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

Similarly, who could imagine that God will come to a virgin and say,

Lk 1.30 "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. 31You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

34"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

35The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called^[c] the Son of God. 36Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. 37For nothing is impossible with God."

Even if godly people were praying, they were not expecting God to work in this way. They were looking for a mighty messiah that will deliver Israel from the bondage, the rule and the power of Rome. Hence John’s great confusion, doubts and despair in prison and his subsequent questioning, “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

No human being could ever imagine such a possibility – a virgin conceiving a child by the HS and the son born will be very God and very man. Therefore no human being could ever pray that God will act this way.

Think about it. Our complaint is why doesn’t God act in the way we want him to.

If God acted the way we want him to, there will be no Saviour born today.

God doesn’t act the way we want him to, because to do so would be disastrous. It would reduce God to man's image, man's wisdom, and man's capabilities. God would not be God. He would merely be Superman, a 'god' moulded in our image. Able to accomplish only what man thinks is possible or imaginable.

As it is we do not have the answer for the problems we are facing. We cannot get our act together. We need a saviour. We do not know the way. We need a guide. We need a deliverer to free us from the chains that keep us in bondage.

Praise God that He doesn’t act the way we want him to. He remains God and therefore is our Guide, our Saviour, our Deliverer.

So what can we learn about God from the Christmas stories?

• God does not work in the way we expect him to
• God works in ways beyond our comprehension and imagination (Eph 3.20)[1] How we have limited him? Lack of trust, belief, godly imagination
• God takes more time to work out his will than we expect him to. (birth of Isaac to Abraham and Sarah, John the Baptist born long after Zechariah and Elizabet had given up hope of ever having a child. How long did Simeon had to wait before he carried the baby Jesus in his arms? 2700 years passed before Isaiah's prophecy came true, that a virgin would conceive a child and named him Emmanuel).
• God is not absent, even if he seems absent (Godly remnant, Good Friday and Holy Saturday)
• God is strong even when he seems weak
• God is victorious and triumphant even when he seems defeated
• God cares for us and we are assured of a future and a hope even when all seemed dark and futile and hopeless

How can we be sure of this?

The birth of Christ the messiah

The life and ministry of the messiah

The crucifixion, death and resurrection of the Lord

On a more personal level we ask: Why don’t we give God what He wants for Christmas.

Why don’t I act the way God wants me to?

• Why am I not experiencing victory in my life of faith?
• Why am I still struggling to have a consistent prayer life. Why is my practice of prayer as Yancey puts it “often confusing and fraught with frustration?”
• Why do I have no desire to read the word. But I spend hours reading the papers, novels, watch TV
• I have been a Christian for more than 10 years and I am still angry, jealous, lustful, covetous
• I am still superstitious – when good things happen I fear that God is toying with me and bad and evil things are waiting for me round the corner
• I lack belief, faith, trust and am filled with fears, worries and anxieties, no matter what the leaders say
• I am fearful of death, of pain, disease and disabilities associated with old age (recently friends of my daughter visited an old folks home where an old lady was tied up to prevent her from falling and hurting herself. The poor old thing wailed non stop in evident distress)

Why doesn’t God do something about it – answer my prayers and actively, consistently, successfully and permanently transform me into Christ’s likeness.

We expect supernatural, instantaneous transformation. Instead God doesn't seem to be doing anything.

We expect short cuts – some of us are taught, once we are born again, magically all things will become new, the old has gone. Or we are told, "once we are able to speak in tongues, we are baptised in the Holy Spirit, we will never be the same again" Yet despite all these extravagant claims, privately we find ourselves still asking, "Why don’t I act the way God wants me to?"

It is important for us therefore to take some lessons from the testimonies and examples of NT believers

John the Baptist had doubts, questions. He was in near despair at point in his life and ministry.

Peter denied Jesus, subsequently was inconsistent in his behaviour and needed to be rebuked by Paul. But at the end was executed for his witness

Paul the persecutor of the early church, became an Apostle. But later broke up with Barnabas over John Mark, only to be later reconciled with John Mark later thereby implicitly vindicating Barnabas. Executed too for his witness.

They worked hard.

2 Cor 11.27 “I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.”(Paul certainly wasn’t lazy).

The apostles had high standards. Cf. 1 Tim 3 and its qualifications for elders. Paul urged the need for training in holiness. (1 Tim 4.8)But they were NOT perfect. However they all loved the Lord. In the end this is what matters. Not obsessing about obtaining sinless perfectionism.

In concentrating on ‘actions’, ‘behaviour’ and ‘obedience’ we are majoring on the minor. The consensus of the church for thousands of years, is that 'The Great Commandment' of the Lord is not that “ you must be perfect as I am perfect”, or you must "imitate me as I imitate Christ". Rather it is "you are to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength."

As a father I do not look for faultless obedience to my commands from my children. Neither do I look for competencies and abilities. I am their father, not their employer. I am not expecting returns from my investments. However I hope for, long for and I look for a relationship that is marked by love and affection. A loving child is not a perfect child. He is not 100% obedient all the time. He may even stray and rebel. But not for long. In the long run, love will always do the right thing, the proper thing. Love makes a man lay down his life for another. You cannot pay a man to do so. Suicide bombers are not laying down their lives for another – they are willing to lose their lives in order to kill as many of their enemies as possible. Besides "Love is patient, love is kind......" Above all, God is love.

The Pastoral Challenge:

The question is not “Why don’t I act the way God wants me to”. The question is “ Do I love the Lord my Saviour?"

So what do we want for Christmas?

May we genuinely be able to say, what I want for Christmas is to 'Love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind.'

---

[1] Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Our response to John’s witness to Jesus.

Introduction

Gal 4.4But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law,

Rom 5.6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

IT WAS NOT suddenly and unannounced that Jesus came into the world. He came into a world that had been prepared for him. The whole Old Testament is the story of a special preparation … .

Only when all was ready, only in the fullness of time, did Jesus come. Hence the importance of the Advent period. We need to prepare our hearts, our families, the church for Christmas. God prepared us carefully before he sent his son to be born on Christmas day

Isaiah and the Old Testament witness

The times and conditions in which Isaiah prophesied were dark, uncertain and perilous. The people of God were at the end of their tether. The Davidic house was sinking and the Jews had no where to turn. It was then that Isaiah prophesied about Jesus’ birth. The implications being: You have to look for a divine Saviour, the Lord’s anointed, the Messiah. Only God can give us hope. Only God can deliver us. God has to wean us from all other hope, such as :

• Trust in our own personal strength, power, wisdom, wealth (family pedigree – e.g. the Kennedy clan) , education, status
• Trust in a human leader (Churchill – after leading Britain so well during WWII was dumped as prime minister after WWII)
• Trust in philosophies, ideals, democracy ( Greeks) Law and justice (Rome) Religion ( the Jews) : modern day equivalents communism, socialism, capitalism
• Trust in naked power ( USA, British colonial imperialism, might of Rome)
• Human nature – intrinsically good, only needs education, opportunities, training, etc

By the time of the NT, we are all suitably disillusioned

John the Baptist and the NT witness

The messiah had already been born – his primary ministry was to challenge the Jews to a proper response to the Messiah.

Prophecy concerning John the Baptist

Lk 1.13But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. 14He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. 16Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. 17And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." cf. Mal Leaving out the last part “otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.

Lk1.76And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High;
for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
77to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
78because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
79to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace."

(glorious fulfillment of the prophecy in Isaiah)

80And the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the desert until he appeared publicly to Israel.

First witness of John the Baptist

39At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, 40where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. 41When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. 42In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! 43But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? 44As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. 45Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

Luke wrote his Gospel in such a way that Theophilus would naturally ask the question, “Who is this man that such strange things happen even before he (Jesus) was born?”

Mature witness

John the Baptist was a stern, uncompromising prophet. He dressed the part too. Clothed in camel hair, surviving on a diet of honey and locusts. Livingi in the desert until he heard the call of the Holy Spirit. Mark gave us more details in his gospel:

1The beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God.^[a]

2It is written in Isaiah the prophet:
"I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way"^[b]—
3"a voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.' "^[c]
4And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. 5The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River. 6John wore clothing made of camel's hair, with a leather belt around his waist, and he ate locusts and wild honey. 7And this was his message: "After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. 8I baptize you with^[d] water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit."

Other gospel writers:

Lk 3. 2during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the desert. He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins

Jn 1.29 Look! The lamb of God that takes the sin of the world

In short, John is saying : repent, prepare to meet the Messiah that you may receive forgiveness for your sins. And be baptised with the Holy Spirit. This is the good news. But if you do want to receive the good news, be warned, His winnowing fork is in his hands….judgment awaits you.

Response to John’s witness

Lk 3. 7John said to the crowds coming out to be baptized by him, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 9The axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."

10"What should we do then?" the crowd asked.

Notice how balanced and thorough, was John the Baptist’s answer. Faith was not meant to be privately engaging, but publicly irrelevant as Os Guinness once said.

11John answered, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same."

Biblical faith have a place for the marginalize and the disadvantaged Where are they in our churches? Are we all comfortably mainstream and middle class?

12Tax collectors also came to be baptized. "Teacher," they asked, "what should we do?" Biblical faith directs the way we view our business ethics, corruption, social and civic responsibilities.

13"Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told them.

14Then some soldiers asked him, "And what should we do?"
He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely—be content with your pay."

Those in power, authority and influence must work out their biblical values

Cost of John’s witness.

Lk 3.19But when John rebuked Herod the tetrarch because of Herodias, his brother's wife, and all the other evil things he had done, 20Herod added this to them all: He locked John up in prison. From which he was later put to death. This contrasts greatly with the Chinese fear of being involved. Of not looking for trouble. Or not disturbing the peace and bringing trouble to ourselves.

But in prison, John the Baptist experienced a crisis of faith. He had believed fervently in the truth and authenticity of his message and his witness to Jesus as the Christ, the Messiah.

But now, John was confused, bewildered. Not solely because he was in prison. The questions running through his mind are these:

“If Jesus was indeed the Messiah, how come things are still the same. Why is it that evil men like Herod are still on the throne, still in power? Where is the justice, the righteous rule, the godliness that is said to mark the reign of the promised Messiah? Why is it that it is still very much the ‘same old, same old?”

Wrong witness? John’s crisis of faith

Lk7. Calling two of them, 19 he sent them to the Lord to ask, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

Where was the dazzling clarity of the message that John received when he was in the desert? Where now the unshakeable conviction that marked his preaching? Confidence, clarity, conviction, zeal turned into doubt, confusion, discouragement, and near despair. This is what happen when what we hoped for, believed in does not come to pass.

Lk7.21At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. 22So he replied to the messengers, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. 23Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."

Jesus is saying to John: “Yes I am the Messiah. You did not give a wrong witness.

But no, you will not be freed from prison and you will die in prison.

Nevertheless ‘Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.’”

Jesus gave the assurance needed by John the Baptist that he was indeed the Messiah. Look he said to all and sundry: “The signs prophesied of the Messiah is evidently present. I am indeed the long promised messiah”. But He gave no other assurances apart from that.

For no other assurances are needed

Pastoral challenge

This Christmas are we celebrating the birth of a wrong saviour? Are we saying in our hearts : "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

If we are, why are we saying that?

What do we hope to hear from God?

What assurances do we hope to hear?

Actually it all boils down to this final question: What do we want from God?

Many of us do not ask much from God : Agur son of Jakeh in Proverbs 30: 8 wrote

give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.

9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonour the name of my God.

Is that too much to ask? We are reasonable people. We are not demanding. We are not greedy.

If indeed this is more or less the lot of our life, we celebrate the birth of the saviour gladly. We have no anguished, confused, despairing questions to ask of the Lord.

But if even this simple thing that Agur asked of the Lord is not given to us, then the questioning begins, the doubts surface, the anger and bitterness consume us.

Phillip Yancey’s latest book, Prayer. Does it make a difference? P 240ff

Yancey shared a letter written to him from a couple who were leaders in their church. He writes.

“ In 1991 their 21 year old son, a scholarship athlete and youth leader in the church, fell asleep at the wheel while driving a green Datsun pick-up truck. The accident severed his aorta and caused paralysis from the waist down. Thirty thousand people in the close knit community prayed for divine healing, elders anointed him with oil, and a national television minister prayed over him. Fifteen years later, the young man is still paralysed. ‘Where was the answered prayer that I longed to share with my friends?’ writes the mother. ‘Where was my Father in heaven who sees the sparrow that falls and loves my son even more than I?’ The father minces no words, ‘What is the value of prayer?’ he asks.”

"Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

The Lord’s answer to us is clear: I am the Messiah, the Son of God, your Lord and Saviour. My dear brothers and sisters. This assurance is enough. The Lord Jesus is God. He is sovereignly and providential in control. There is nothing outside his rule. He is utterly and completely trustworthy. He is loving and merciful. He knows what is best for you. He is for you and not against you. You will have a future and a hope. He will not forsake nor abandon you.

"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."^[a] 6So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"

The sense of the Greek here is “never, never, never will I leave you, never, never, never will I leave you.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters. Ask no more questions. Doubt no longer. Be not in despair. Have faith in your Lord and Saviour.

Rejoice, celebrate, take great joy and comfort in the birth of our saviour.

At the same time, our faith must result in actions. So take note the words of the Baptist and do what he asks:

"The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same”.

To the tax collectors "Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told

To the soldiers :
He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely—be content with your pay." (those in power, authority and influence)

Then indeed all will be well!